As parents, we do the best we can to instill good ethics and values in our children. Howver, we never know what we are really accomplishing.
Lauren (7) and Eva (4) had been charged with the task of cleaning up the entertainment room and the guest bathroom that I used. Lauren found some money in the couch and Eva found some in the bathroom. Both came running to me saying, “Grandpa, here is some money that fell out of your pocket.”
I thanked them for it and put both amounts into a single pile. “Lauren,” I said, “I want you to divide this evenly between the both of you.”
She grinned and immediately, I detected a little slyness in her expression. “Now when I say evenly,” I added, “I mean money of equal value. I don’t want you splitting the coins in some way to fool your sister.”
Lauren grinned and I could tell she knew exactly what I meant. I went upstairs to read, assuming I had averted a problem by calling the game in advance.
Things were quiet for a while, and then Eva came up from the entertainment room rushing over to me, screaming that Lauren hadn’t split the money evenly. She opened her hands to show me three quarters and a penny–76 cents..
Lauren was just behind her. “I gave her the quarters because I know she likes to spend money in the gumball machines,” Lauren explained.
I looked at her. “Oh? So where is your half?” I asked her.
“It’s downstairs.” she said innocently.
“Well go get it.” I said.
She came back with the money clutched in her hands. She opened her hand up to reveal nickels, dimes, and lots of pennies. “See,” she said. I didn’t take any of the quarters." She continued to maintain that she had made a fair split.
I could have counted, but decided not to. Instead, I said to Lauren “Give me your money. She put the coins in my right hand. “Give me your money.” I said to Eva, and she put them in my left hand.
I then turned to Eva and said, “Which hand would you prefer.” Eva pointed to my right hand – the pile of coins that represented Lauren’s half. I turned to Lauren and asked, “Do you care which pile she takes?”
She hesitated a moment, and then said sheepishly, “Well, I kind-of wanted my pile.”
“Okay, lets see.” I counted the pile that Lauren had reserved for herself. I quit counting at a dollar. There were still dimes and pennies left so the split wasn’t even. Lauren continued to maintain that it was a mistake and that she thought she had divided things evenly.
“Let me explain something to you, Lauren” I said. “This is something I learned from your grandmother. When she taught kindergarten, as a reward, she would have two children go and cut pieces of cake. She would give the knife to the more responsible one and say ‘Cut two pieces of cake. But remember, you cut. The other child gets to choose first.’”
Lauren looked at me and grinned–getting the point. “So when you didn’t like the plan of Eva choosing either pile,” I explained looking her directly in the eye, “You already told me that you knew the split wasn’t even.”
Lauren looked a little sheepish. She nodded, knowing her game of innocence was over. But it was obvious that she was fully absorbing the lesson.
“Now,” I said. “Let’s try again and I handed all the coins to Lauren. Sit here and divide these into two even piles. When you are done, Eva will choose whichever pile she wants.. Do you understand? "
Lauren grinned and said yes. I explained the plan to Eva and she understood it. So I returned to reading. Lauren went to counting. Eva sat and patiently watched. When Lauren announced the piles were ready, I merely glanced to see if there was likely to be another trick. They appeared about even, so I said to Eva. Now you may select whichever pile you like, but only one.
Eva chose and went off smiling. Lauren took hers and seemed satisfied. In fact, she seemed quite happy about the situation. As I went back to reading, I thought, “I’m not really sure what lesson Lauren learned. She is extremely bright. I’m guessing the lesson she learned to to figure some way to beat that trick.”